Life

Sometimes in life we do things that we later regret , things we don't understand why we do it. And sometimes things just happen with no explanation. Well last night was one of those times for me. I was out partying with some friends and I'm not sure why but when we got home I just sat down by myself to think and I felt Gods presence and felt him telling me that this is not what I am supposed to be doing. Immediately I started bawling and just praying and praying and praying. I asked a few people to pray with me but no one would so I just prayed some more by myself. Everyone kept telling me I was just being emotional because of the alcohol but I know I felt God. So I got my  journal and started writing a lot and read some of my bible because I just couldn't take the though of not having anyone listen to what I was trying to say because I was drunk. In all honesty yes I was drunk but I wasn't making that up. I still remember everything that happened last night. But anyways back to what I was saying. I just felt the weight of everything I have been doing wrong here lately and I couldn't hold onto it anymore. I have been away from God for so long and I'm still not sure why he chose last night instead of a normal day , but I have made a promise to myself and to God that I will not be drinking anymore. Because I know what I have been doing is wrong and for me wanting to be a youth pastor I know I can't be doing that kind of thing. So here I am now in this place not sure where I am going to go from here except for the fact that I know FOR SURE I will be going to church tomorrow even if I have to walk there myself. I have not actually been to church in about a year now and I'm finally ready to go back. Ive change a lot since I have moved here and mostly for the better but I'm not sure this realization would have come to me if I had not moved here. Well that is my latest update/adventure here. Hope I can soon tell you about the progress I plan on making.

Love you all
xoxoxo